--Michael Pitt is the young sickly version of Leonardo Dicaprio. He was in Murder by Numbers, Bully, a few episodes of Dawson's Creek. Know who I'm talking about? Well, if you dig him, and you wanna know what his wang looks like super up close, rent Bernardo Bertolucci's new film The Dreamers. If you're not so into the wang, there are other highlights. A French girl, for instance.

--The only people who should have sat behind me are wheelchair people. Those two lonely seats in the way back with the space for a wheelchair to roll up beside. I was stoned and alone and I just wanted everyone in front of me. So naturally two chatty mcfatties took the wheelchair people seats, and two middle-aged people boxed me in in front; you know, the kind of people who don't laugh during Harold and Kumar go to White Castle... Harold and Kumar are smart stoners, who work all day and smoke in front of the TV set at night. Potheads that spark up and watch The Gift on HBO. Working class smokers. Many a high night I've followed my tastebuds to Krystal, the southern sister to White Castle. Small. Hot. Square. This movie is funny, a lot more people will probably realize that when it hits dvd.

--In Collateral, this time sober but still alone, a hot girl had to go and sit down in front of me. Put her purdy pedicured piggies up on the seat in front of her. My body tried to sneak around my mind and lean over and smell her hair. Of course it got caught, but God to have such a strong urge is sad. It's a good thing Michael Mann crafted a clever little thriller or I'd have been more aware of her movements the whole time. There are a surprising amount of laughs, a surprising amount of little surprises too. It is always good for the genre when a great director makes an entry, and Collateral is definately good for action/thrillers. The characters are just deep enough; Jamie Foxx is amazing, and I really think Tom Cruise is a much better actor than he is a Tom Cruise. He always comes off a little weird and awkward as Tom Cruise, but as Vincent the silver-haired assassin, or Lestat, or Frank TJ Mackey, or Jerry Maguire, he is all. fucking. there.

ps-- i know wheelchair people are just people in wheelchairs. But I like wheelchair people.